Yes, It’s Possible to (Gracefully) Talk Politics at Work

Several years ago, on a cold February morning, ABC News released a music video by Will.I.Am aimed at increasing the voter turnout for the 2008 U.S. presidential election. The video, “Yes We Can,” quickly went viral and became a rallying call for those supporting Barack Obama’s campaign. Two of my coworkers had very different reactions to the video. Emma, a New York-born Democrat, stepped into my office at the end of a long day and breathlessly described how she’d been listening to the song on repeat. It had inspired her to seriously consider quitting her job to campaign for Obama full-time. The next day, I saw another coworker, Logan, a Florida-born Republican, arguing passionately with Emma about the video. “It’s all editing and music,” he yelled. “Where’s the message of substance?” Emma rolled her eyes and walked away. At the time, I was shocked that a music video could produce such a strong, emotional argument between two of my peers. But as political divides across the world get more partisan, these kinds of conflicts are becoming more and more common. And if you’re just starting out in your career, it can be especially hard to navigate these conflicts. Maybe you haven’t had to have a serious conversation at work yet, or you’re just starting to feel comfortable at a new job. You may have even had disagreements with your coworkers over tasks, how you should respond to a client, or what next steps to take in a project. But at the end of the day, work is work, and it’s usually not personal. Political conflicts, on the other hand, are personal. They tend to challenge our values and upset our sense of emotional balance. You’ve likely heard the expressions: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” or “A friend of my friend is a friend.” These sayings are drawn from balance theory, which explains how mutual agreement on feelings, attitudes, and beliefs can lead to the formation of positive relationships. But the expression “a friend of my friend is a friend” doesn’t just apply to other people, it applies to social objects — like values — as well. For example, if you strongly identify as a Democrat, you may find that many of your friends are Democrats too, and vice versa. So if you find out that a coworker that you like disagrees with one of your strongly identified values, it causes a great deal of emotional tension. We know from studies of social relationships that we resolve this tension in one of two ways — either we change our values, or we change our relationships. Neither of those outcomes are desirable in the workplace, because you have to be able to work well with all kinds of people despite divergent beliefs. Assuming that we want to hold onto our core values at work and maintain good working relationships, what can we do? The answer is surprisingly simple: Have a conversation. It won’t always be easy, but rest assured, there are ways to gracefully navigate a debate about politics at work. 1) Start by listening. When our values are challenged, it is hard to resist the urge to speak out and “correct” others’ views. However, a more productive approach is to start by listening to your coworker. I don’t just mean wait for them to finish talking before you share your point of view. I mean fully exploring their point of view. Ask open questions (i.e., those that start with how, what, why). It is important to express interest, so try using phrases like: I’ve never thought about this perspective before. Can you tell me more? I can see you feel strongly about this. Why is this issue important to you? That’s an interesting thought. How did you arrive at this view? When you have explored their view, summarize what you’ve heard to check that you’ve understood them correctly. The idea here is to paraphrase what they said, not to necessarily agree with them (e.g., “Let me see if I understand. You believe…”). Listening, of course, is hard to do when your values are challenged, but taking this approach sets the tone for the rest of the conversation. By listening, you send the message that their view is valid (even if you don’t agree with it), and you build a norm for interacting that will encourage them to listen and explore your point of view in return. 2) Re-frame the issues that are important to you. Now that you’ve really listened to your coworker, you hopefully understand their values. This is essential if you ever want to change their point of view (if that is your goal). When we try to convince other people of our ideas, we often frame our arguments through the lens of our own values. But when people don’t share our beliefs, they won’t be convinced by arguments built on them. Research shows that when partisan issues are re-framed through values that opposing groups care about, those groups increase their support. This approach can work for you too. For example, Democrats and Republicans frequently disagree on military spending. Republicans have traditionally advocated for the expansion of the military, arguing that the military unifies American society and ensures the U.S. maintains its standing on the world stage. Democrats tend to disagree, seeing this justification as overly hawkish. Yet when military spending is framed as providing opportunities for social mobility for individuals from disadvantaged backgrounds, Democrats increase their support for military spending. 3) End on agreement. Now that you have re-framed the issue through the lens of each other’s values, explore any areas of agreement you share. For example, you might both agree that access to health care should be expanded (even if you disagree on how) and that any candidate for political office who intends to reduce access to health care is unlikely to receive either of your votes. Again, simple phrases like “It sounds like we agree on …” or “The overlap between our views is …” are all that are needed. Ending on agreement is important for restoring the sense of emotional balance you feel towards the other person and de-escalating any emotional tension between you. It is unlikely you will leave the conversation having resolved all of your differences. But by finding some point of agreement, you will leave the talk on a common ground and leave room for another collaborative conversation in the future. Remember that there is also a caveat here: Different types of political conversations can happen in the workplace. The types of conversations I’ve outlined above may make us upset and angry, but they don’t threaten our existence or comfort at work. However, other conversations can become hostile or disrespectful to you or your BIPOC or LGBTQIA colleagues. If that is the case, you should initiate a conversation with your manager or HR. On the whole, diversity of values, thought, and opinion is an essential part of today’s workplace. Engaging with people who hold deeply different views than us can spark new ideas and insights. But this potential is lost when diversity of values breeds misunderstanding and conflict. Ultimately, the responsibility for forging productive working relationships with people with different values falls to the individual, and it starts with a conversation.

Yes, It’s Possible to (Gracefully) Talk Politics at Work

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